I'm braver than before

Lies I have told

softjoly:

hermesapprentice:

I always tell people that my cat doesn’t really like people that much even though she is really cuddly so they feel special when she cuddles them.

You are the best person

hexglyphs:

realaxolotl:

hexglyphs:

oh, sure, when SPIDERMAN leaps from rooftop to rooftop, performing death-defying extreme parkour stunts as he swings through the city, he’s “a hero” and “protecting the city”, but when i do it i’m “illegally trespassing on private property” and “a menace to society”, THAT’S how it is, huh,

peter parker said this in civilian clothing

yours is the only funny and correct addition to this post

forfawkssake:

myterribletwenties:

myterribletwenties:

dylanolinski:

pale-unic0rn:

larrystylinson-stuff:

larrysbellybutton:

gomezwantsmullerinhisbed:

dylanolinski:

I hate it when you’re reading smut and you can’t figure out what position they’re in.

sometimes it just ends up being something like

ITS BACK

lord 

Y’ALL NEED JESUS

Please stop reblogging this post

This post made my water break

In honor of my daughter’s first birthday next week, I’m sharing the post that made me laugh so hard that it broke my water.

WHAT

nejireyuuyu:

onyourleftbooob:

ramen-hamster:

krissanthimum:

SJSHDJSKSAKDS????

WIG???

yip-yip:

flower-lesbienne:

gunsandfireandshit:

casbean:

harryngtonewithyourshit:

beardedchrisevans:

Is Chris Evans Steve Rogers or is Steve Rogers Chris Evans?

good

“Fellas, is it gay to be a good father?”

Shout out to Harry Hill

mariesbookblog:

faded-mind:

theangelshavethetimeturner:

invite-me-to-your-memories:

i understand the historical reasons why English is the most common language

but if I was writing a speculative fiction novel

and I said “the language that most people learn as a second language, usually for professional reasons, is also the only one with a spelling system so terrible that spelling words correctly is a broadcasted competition”

you’d be like “extremely unrealistic 0/10”

i never thought of this, do other languages not have spelling bees?

#no we don’t

What

tiktoksithinkarefunny:

world-record-egg:

Okay but what about 1 million notes on an egg